Thursday, September 4, 2014

To My Beloved

Dear Isaiah,
In the past 4 years of studying you:
I have found I barely knew you at all when we got married, I am thoroughly looking forward to getting to know you more, and watching you grow into who God wants you to be.
I was so in love with all that I knew then but it was just the tip of the iceberg.
You are such a dreamer. Nothing seems impossible or crazy to you.
This 4th year of marriage has been about bending, endurance, slow and steady progress.  Encouragement in the unexpected.  The gratification in giving. God's provision in time of need.
He has always taken such good care of us.
When I look back over the year of us. I see God working things out over and over. Man is a failure without God.
The glue that holds us together in our faith unseen but always there and relying on our creator. He gets all the glory for our accomplishments over milestones.

You have my heart.
I will only have eyes for you my love.
The more I get to know you the more I fall in love.
You are my teenage sweetheart.
My soul mate. My partner in life. The leader of our home.
I am so thankful for your soft tenderness toward me and our children.
You have always won me over with your kindness.
I cherish your goodbye kisses and welcome home hugs.
I am grateful for all your hard work and that you are driven to succeed in all that you do.
What else can I say my dear?
I'm really in love with you.
Thank you for the past 4 years.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Happy Father's Day Isaiah!

Happy Father's day to my husband.
I'm so thankful for who you are and who you are becoming.
Daddy of two now,  working more and harder than ever, yet you take time to be a good Daddy. The expert at tucking Piper in and praying with her. Snuggling little Boaz when he is cold. You are gentle and kind and WAY more fun than mama. You take us on advuntures. You read the bible to us as a family. You never fail to drive us to church each Sunday.
You show our kids what it is to be an understanding and loving spouse. Piper will want to marry someone just like you! Boaz is going to want to fill those big boots you wear and be the man of his own house someday.
And me.... I am so honored to be your wife... the wife of your youth... to be able to grow up in love with you and figure this whole thing called life out with you in the lead.
Thank you for being the father of my children and the leader of our home.
          I love you.

Monday, June 9, 2014

She makes me slow down.

She makes me stop and splash in the puddles of "Wa wa." She makes me pick her flowers. She makes me think dandelion s are beautiful. She makes mud look cute. She makes me look at her rocks. She makes me fix her hair. She makes me slow down and cuddle. She makes me laugh. She makes me love the way her daddy looks with her in his arms. She makes me feel needed. She makes me feel so important and special.  She makes me a Mama.
I love you Piper Ann!

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

SAVE IT for the marriage

Wedding season is upon us and we just received a wedding invitation. We were expecting and excited to go to this wedding but we unfortunately will not be attending. It's on a Sunday  there is no possible way we can make it to church to serve and worship God who is #1 in our life and go watch this union. It's going to have booze, beer, alcohol (don't those help destroy marriage s?) They wouldn't be invited to my wedding...I don't want my husband puking on my dress, getting drunk or anyone else getting drunk...
There is going to be dancing...After the drinking..sounds like a party...
Sounds like I'm not going.
Looks like the way the engagement pictures turned out they are already sleeping together...OK your hands are on her butt and your face practically in her breasts...serious passionate kissing.
Save it.
So I thought it was time.
I have been so busy enjoying my new mommy life that I almost forgot how passionate I am about relationships. .. how much I hate the dating game( basically practicing for divorce) and how no one values those things that are rare and precious anymore.
No one is saving it for marriage.
Not enough people are shouting " It's God's plan for you to be with only one person! It's worth the wait! Keep pure! Give God the glory! Do right! Do right! Just wait! I waited and my marriage doesn't have a lot of problems that come from not saving it all! My marriage is not going to fail because I won't let it starve. Fight for what you value!"
Maybe I just have the best husband in the world...I like to brag... but he only ever held my hands, kissed only my lips on our wedding day and saved all of himself just for me. Wow, that shouts "I'm worth it. I'm valued. I'm precious. I am loved." And in return he found a girl that saved all her love for him and he has her whole heart safe with him.
I want everyone to feel the way I do.
I want everyone to have a God centered marriage.
I want every wife to be loved and to honor and respect her husband even when she isn't feeling the sparks.
I want this dying thing called marriage to LIVE.
Why are they failing? Why are they starting with a frat type party instead of a ceremony of seriousness and celebration?
Because they are lacking God in the relationship.
My mother in law said " if a stool only has 2 legs it wobbles and will fall over but if you have a 3rd leg it is well supported."
God is my third leg in marriage.
So it's starts way back before the marriage begins.
Is this relationship giving glory to God? Is everyone that sees us see God working in our life?
Or do they see me me me me me?
I know Isaiah could have in no way in his own strength given me all that I received when we got married if he had not had God directing his steps.
I am so blessed.
I never could have waited to give Isaiah all of me on my own....we barely made it until our wedding day for our first kiss if we had not made rules we would never be alone until then.

And the desire of my heart is to put it in the hearts of those not yet married or just about to to ask God to be at the head of it all because without Him there is no hope.
Save the marriage. Save it for marriage.

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Clothes on a line

Clothes on a line
hearts that were 2 are twine
young love so tender
Strong love it renders
the family grows
time to hang out more clothes

First time running after baby #2

Look at that shadow
Next to the white line
Look at that shadow
Is that butt really mine
Look at that shadow
Running again for the first time

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Boaz Wayne

 A mother would give her life for that child to be born. Somebody is going to be Born every day.
March 2nd In fact my first son was born. His labor was the hardest physically thing I have ever done. Once or twice I thought to myself I was going to die (transition when things get close crazy was happening to me.
Having Piper was discouraging then I had a great nap and pushed her out. It was so easy compared to Boaz. Just mentally discouraging because my body wouldn't progress on its own.
It was happening again.
My contractions were losing their juice. They weren't peaking but puttering out. People were texting asking how things were going. I went and saw my mid wife at 11 and she asked if I was in labor. I just cried and said " I don't know what is going on with my body." She laughed and said let me check you. I hugged Isaiah and started to lighten up after drying my tears.
I had made small progress through the night. I was a 4 and 90% effacement. But my contractions were going away

My midwife reccomend I take 4 oz of castor oil after a big lunch to get things going again.
and boy did it get things going. My doula kept reminding me that this is what I wanted, this was going to bring me my baby. Labor is crazy.

Only true love is almost dying to bring someone else into the world.
True love was my husband being so sweet through the whole thing.
When things started up again I got a little snippy at Isaiah and he started telling me what to a know it all.
So we called the doula. AND she told us both what to do and thing went smooth between us there after.
In fact she has us falling in love all over again while I was in joke.
Diarria, puking it was like all the illnesses you could have and then being tortured by a physco...that is was natural childbirth feels like.
Then after you give birth. Pushing was easiest for both of mine.
You hold in your arms the most beautiful baby.
God gets better at making them every day.
Boaz is the sweetest baby.
Wow I have a son and he is looking at me with hia big blue eyes that shout "I LOVE YOU MAMA. YOU ARE MY FAVORITE PERSON. I THINK YOU ARE GREAT!"
He is me. Thank you God for this dear sweet child.

Friday, March 21, 2014

My Baby Is Going to be Born today

It hard to sleep... everyone is telling me to rest. Like on Christmas Eve I'm too excited for the surprise on the next day.
My water broke at 5:30pm March 20th 2014.  It is now 2:30am March 21st. Boaz has to be Born today... today will forever be his Birthday. I'm so excited to meet this new person and become his Mama. Excited for him to meet his Daddy and big sister. Wow has she grown. Excited for the challenge of having 2 babies only a year apart.
Feeling so much love for him already.
He is already a good boy and giving me a good productive labor
It actually started Tuesday night but I was afraid that like before it was false labor and I would go in and be disappointed so I hung in and on my contractions would come and go, mild and strong.  Then yesterday, feeling really yucky and like I might be leaking a little I told my doula and she calmed me down. I had Isaiah check me and we were surprised to be at 3 cm . So I walked a little then did my usual squats and lunges in the shower and my water broke! What a better place! I called up Isaiah and we were on our way. After being seen by my mid wife and doula, my instructions were to eat and rest. Baby is on good position. Well I guess I'm resting just not sleeping.
Hoping to have my baby boy soon!

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Happy Birthday to US!

My husband Isaiahs is now 24! Friday I bought him a fancy cake from bernices bakery in Missoula then my wonderful mother in law watched Piper so we could spend some adult time together. He had to work that night so I came and got to have lunch with him in his new 95 Ford 350 truck....yeah its a beast. Yesterday for my 23rd Birthday he surprised me with this new phone I'm typing on right now. Maybe being 38wks pregnant made me a little emotional because I cried. Then read his card to me and cried some more.
Our Pastor is out of town with his wife while she has cancer treatments so his oldest son preached today. The messages were all good but tonight he got out Legos using them to illustrate how God has a plan for us to become something and instructions on how.
Well 23 yrs old and I had no idea God was going to put me where I am now. Maybe I pictured it a little easier or more comfortable but definitely not all the blessing that surround me right now. I don't deserve my life. I can only lift up my head and praise God and thank him for taking care of me when I was weak and making me a stronger person for His glory. The past few months have been challenging to say the least but it is worth it when your husband looks at you with more love and tells you that you are lovely and that you make every thing lovely and without you he would be nothing not even crazy because the first crazy thought he had was that he could have you.
Yep, how can I complain with a sweet husband like that. Cherishing these rough times and that they show us who we really are on the inside.